Memories of a Nobody Kingdom Hearts OC Monologue
by EmmiEmmz
Summary: A monologue by my own made-up Kingdom Hearts character called Rokxi, she talks about her time in Organization XIII as well as explains her thoughts and feelings during the events in her life as a Nobody.


**Memories of a Nobody**

Hello, my name is Rokxi, I don't have a second name I don't think, and all I remember whilst being given my name is staring at gold letters, the name "Riko" spinning into a ball then the name "Rokxi" emerging, since then I have become part of a team called "Organization XIII"…I still don't understand fully what it's all about but it was explained to me by our leader Xemnas, that our goal is to collect hearts to give to Kingdom Hearts which he pointed to the big heart shaped moon in the sky, seemed kinda weird to me but that's just my opinion. I would try to explain it more but all I know is that my weapon, a keyblade, can harvest the hearts of these shadow creatures better than everyone else's weapons.

Well enough of the confusing part, after being given my name I woke up in a bedroom, I figured it must be my bedroom now given by the organization, I found myself a weird leather coat too, a black t-shirt underneath with black trousers and black leather boots 'must be the uniform' I had said to myself before I heard a knock at the door 'hey newbie! You awake yet?' said a voice from outside the door, 'uh yes...' I replied before I walked to the door and opened it, stood at the door was the coolest looking guy I had ever seen, he had red spiky hair that was slightly feathered and bright...enchanting green eyes, he was leaned against the door frame like one of those tough looking guys who usually had toothpicks in their mouths. He took me to this big room and we didn't talk, mainly because I was too shy or I guess there was just nothing to say, I couldn't see much of the room because of the big hood that I'd realised was on my head, suddenly a familiar voice that I'd heard during my name giving process 'everyone, welcome our new member, Number Fourteen, Rokxi' he said in his loud booming voice, at that moment I took my hood off, realising the colour of my hair which was dark blue and tied up in a ponytail with feathered spikes coming from it which reminded me of some kind of wild grass, or an upside-down pinecone.

The room was full of white thrones which seemed to adjust the height depending on what number in the organization everyone was, I took mine and was the lowest of everyone, thankfully they weren't so low in difference that I would get neck cramp which was a good thing too since the meeting went on for quite a while, I just sat there listening to everyone, the people there seemed nice even though I got the odd glares from a blonde girl but I figured because I was the new girl and so might have been stepping into her territory but I just ignored her.

After the meeting I was told my first mission by Saïx, he pretty much told me I needed to do a few tutorials first and so had to go with different members of the organization. For my first mission I was paired with a guy called Lexaeus, known as "The Silent Hero". His title gave me reassurance that he wouldn't let me hurt myself too much on my first mission. Suddenly Lexaeus opened a dark portal and motioned me to follow him, I quickly did and we appeared at this old fantasy looking castle 'rule number one, no interacting with the people or beings here, we're only here to gather hearts and once the mission is complete we go back home' he told me as I nodded then showed me the basics of how to wield my keyblade, he seemed surprised at the style of my keyblade which was demonic styled on the left and angelic styled on the right, was this not what it was supposed to look like? Either way we got the job done and I collected my share of hearts from the shadow creatures known as Heartless then went back to the castle which was known as The Castle that Never Was.

I spent the rest of the day in my room, getting use to my new surroundings. Suddenly a knock at the door and once again I opened it to find the spiky red haired guy 'I heard you did well on your first mission today, want to come get an ice-cream with me?' he asked to which I shyly nodded my head, he smirked which made him look even more cuter and cooler and we went to this town place, it was sunset and we both sat on the edge of a huge clock tower, that's when I realised I was scared of heights, he seemed to realise that quite quickly 'don't be scared, I'll catch you if you fall' he said with a reassuring and warm smile, it convinced me enough to sit on the edge with him 'so your name is Rokxi? That's a cool name, like a rock star name' he said with a little laugh to which I had just stared at him silently eating the ice-cream, the ice-cream was strange, like a mix of saltiness and sweetness, once I ate more of it, it started to taste yummy 'my name is Axel' he said 'n-nice to meet you Axel' I had replied, I felt so stupid, sitting there like a zombie while he was trying to be nice to me, why did I have to be so shy…then I saw it, the sunset, we watched it together, was it supposed to be a romantic thing? Or just a friend thing? I didn't know what to think so I just continued eating the ice-cream until I had finished it, once the night sky came in we went back to the castle and bid goodnight to each other.

During the next few days I was paired with numerous members of the organization who explained to me what I was and what my purpose was, even if it was in an uncaring manner, I eventually met everyone during my missions, Xemnas- Superior of the In-between, Xigbar- the Freeshooter, Xaldin- The Whirlwind, Vexen- The Chilly Academic,

Lexaeus- The Silent Hero, Zexion- The Cloaked Schemer, Saïx- The Luna Diviner, Axel- The Flurry of Dancing Flames, Demyx- The Melodious Nocturne, Luxord- The Gambler of Fate, Marluxia- The Graceful Assassin and Larxene- The Savage Nymph. Everyone was pretty friendly when they wanted to be but I just usually stuck around Demyx, mainly because I enjoyed listening to his sitar and the fact he was so lazy made me laugh, he was the one I went to when I was upset about something, in fact he felt like an older brother, everyone in the organization felt like family to me, Xemnas was the dad, Saïx was the mum, Demyx the musical older brother, Lexaeus was the tough older brother, Axel was the cool older brother looking past my crush on him, Marluxia was the more feminine older brother, Larxene the older sister, Xigbar the pirate uncle, Zexion the quiet brother, Xaldin…he seemed…I dunno…he didn't have any special qualities apart from the fact that he was easy to annoy but he still seemed like an uncle, Vexen was the mad scientist uncle, I saw that Luxord had an enjoyment for gambling and drinking, especially after he went to the Port Royal world, he came back with barrels of rum so I figured he would be the happy-go-lucky kind of uncle.

The times when we gathered informally like at dinner time was usually fun, we all had to take turns at cooking dinner apart from Axel since he usually burnt dinner, and with Luxord we'd usually end up all drunk by the end of the evening, I've heard of adding things like wine to flavour foods but I don't think it counted the same for things like tequila. Eventually I discovered my own power too, I don't really know how to explain it, but it kind of reminded me of that scary movie The Ring except I was able to change the arena to my own thoughts from my head, kind of like Zexion's illusions except more creepier and I was able to control beings in that world to attack my opponents, not even Xemnas understood it completely but I just made the best of it when I needed to, which wasn't very often, I also discovered the name of my keyblade too, it was called Winged Hope, made sense since it had a demonic and angelic wing at either side of it.

Days passed, missions were completed, I soon worked my way up with reputation in the organization and became part of the family, me and Axel started spending more time together, but it didn't seem that he liked me in the way that I liked him, I think all I would ever be to him was just a good friend, no matter how many ice-cream sunset moments we shared together, I just had to accept that we would just be best friends, and that was that, Xemnas had once told me that us Nobodies don't have hearts but I didn't understand, how did we laugh and feel emotions of friendship and love? He told me that our brain held the memories of those feelings and that's what we were feeling, all I can say is that they felt like pretty strong memories from just our brains, I guess I'd never fully understand the reasons behind it, and I doubt anyone would ever tell me, but I was just happy living in the organization, I had friends, family, food and a place to stay, and I was happy enough with my purpose too.

All of a sudden one day Xemnas called us all into a meeting and started talking about how we would be getting a new member, another keyblade wielder, apparently his name was Roxas, Xemnas didn't tell us much about him then he walked into the meeting room and was given his number, Thirteen, but does that mean they were expecting him to be part of us? I had always wondered why I had skipped a number.

Whatever Xemnas had planned for Roxas I didn't want to get involved, they seemed to hold him upon high for some reason, I had gone on a few missions with him but we didn't talk to each other, but I guess he was as shy as me when I first joined. As time went on Axel seemed to spend more time with Roxas, they soon became best friends and I soon became invisible to Axel, he wouldn't even give me a glance in the corridor, we no longer shared those sunset moments, instead he went with Roxas, I accept that I felt jealous, upset, angry that this newbie had taken away one of my best friends, but this just caused me to spend more time with Demyx, he understood my sadness and always knew how to cheer me up, he always knew the right tune to play and I guess…we just started getting closer, we usually got paired together because Saïx knew that the only way he would actually get off his butt was to go on missions with me, I don't know why though, it seemed like he was trying to impress me with how many Heartless he could kill, but I never thought he actually had a crush on me…until he asked me out, I didn't know what to say, we were good friends but the fact is, I was crushing on him too so I said yes.

Things went really well, we did the usual stuff boyfriends and girlfriends did, he was able to serenade me with his sitar, in our spare time we went to different worlds together and shared amazingly romantic moments, even after the events at Castle Oblivion, of which we were both thankful neither of us had signed up to the mission, although I saw how sad Roxas was at the fact that Axel had been involved, rumour was that those involved in the Castle Oblivion incident were traitors who were trying to overthrow the organization and needed to be destroyed, the fact that a new girl, called Xion, also number Fourteen had become to exist, didn't help my emotional state at losing people who I thought of as family, I was being replaced too even though Demyx kept telling me it was probably an administration error, what administration? Saïx and Xemnas were the only administration we had!

A lot of things happened after that, and we who were left had to pick up the pace to catch up with the work which had belonged to those who were gone, meaning that me and Demyx would have to be alone for missions, sometimes do a couple in a day, we all became exhausted and me and Demyx had to settle with just seeing each other at night, we just ended up falling asleep in each other's arms, too exhausted to stay up late together, once Axel had come back the mood lifted slightly but even with another member safe we still had to work mission, after mission, after mission, Xion had disappeared too and Xemnas seemed to be getting anxious about something.

Then that fateful day came, the day we all had to band together against that kid named Sora and his friends Donald and Goofy, they…they took Demyx from me…he battled fiercely but was ultimately defeated, I heard he had disposed of Axel too, and when we needed Roxas the most he was nowhere to be seen, everyone had gone, I had been called to protect Xemnas as the only keyblade wielder once again in the organization, I had to battle against Sora, I screamed with rage at the fact he had taken away my dear Demyx…but I guess he was known as the Keyblade Master for a reason, everyone had gone, I heard that Xemnas was also defeated, and that we were in fact the bad guys in this story but in my opinion, we were innocent.

Whoever finds this tape, please take care of it, I know now that a Nobody doesn't just become nothing, they become one with their power, my darling Demyx lives for eternity in the waters, Lexaeus lives on in the earth, Larxene can be seen in lightning, we all become the embodiment of something, and our spirits live on in some form, our memories shall always remain, I would have liked to hear Demyx's memories, I'm curious to what he actually thought of me, did he enjoy the times we shared together too? I guess I'll never know, but whoever finds this tape, please keep it safe, it's the only part of me that remains…

***Click***


End file.
